In a healthy relationship we are always doing kind and thoughtful gestures for our partner or spouse.  It may be making them a cup of tea in the morning, leaving the heater on in the bathroom, running an errand or picking up the dry cleaning.  The list is endless and I encourage you to take some time to think of the kind and thoughtful gestures your special someone does for you, as they are often overlooked and go un-thanked.  By taking some time to notice the things they do you can easily rectify this with a thank you, a hug or some other acknowledgement.

So what is the difference between these gestures and a Romantic Gesture?

I find asking these three questions define if what I am planning falls into the Romantic Gesture category.

Have I had to set aside some time to plan this?

Does it involve my husband and I spending time together or him spending time doing something he loves with my full encouragement.

Is the event, occasion or surprise I am planning about what he likes rather than what I like to do?

If I can answer yes to these three questions I know I am on the right track.

For example:  Last year we went to Wellington for a holiday.  I organised for us to go and watch the Phoenix play soccer (I would have rather watched paint dry).  This took some planning on my behalf, involved us spending time together and was certainly something I new he would enjoy.  All boxes ticked!

Conversely I love having my feet massaged and I think it would be lovely for us to have a Chinese foot spa together.  However my husband has incredibly ticklish feet so this would be a slow form of torture for him and not work as a Romantic Gesture (it would be amusing though).

In summary:

A Romantic Gesture will take some planning.  Consider what you want to do for him/her.  Take some time over this, I don’t mean days or even hours just enough time to focus on what you know they like and how you can plan something special around that.  Ensure that your plan involves things he/she loves to do or receive.  I can’t stress this enough.  Guys if you are planning a special dinner out and you choose a spot where you can watch the rugby too, I guarantee you will spoil the moment (unless she is a big rugby fan).  Equally girls if you whisk your man away for a romantic weekend and the final of his favourite sporting event is on he will not thank you for it!   

Once you have decided on the gesture you need to set a date and organise whatever is required for your plan to work.  If you are planning to surprise her with flowers or a midweek lunch at your favourite restaurant you may not have too much to organise but if it’s a weekend away there may be a bit more to consider like childcare, time off work, special food (make a list and don’t be afraid to ask for some help if needed). 

Lastly put your plan into action and if you have organised a trip away or a surprise night out give some thought to how you present your gift of time.  Maybe write a poem, send her txt clues throughout the day or make up a voucher that says what you are going to be doing and when you are going to be doing it.

Enjoy and remember the gesture does not always have to be large or expensive.  It is all about giving your time and using a little imagination.