Archive for June, 2009

Car versus Relationship

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009

Do you spend more time taking care of your car than your relationship?  For a great number of us the answer to this question is yes.  Think about it, every night most of us garage our car to protect it from the elements.  The everyday elements and demands of life can put strain on our relationships so they too like your car need a little care and attention each day.  Random acts of affection and attention are a great way to achieve this.

 

Once a week on average we fill our cars with fuel and keep an eye on the water and oil.  If we don’t do this the car will let us down, perhaps leaving us stranded in the middle of no where.  Just like with your car if you don’t re-fuel your relationship on a regular basis you may find your self stranded and wishing you had taken some time to take care of what was important.  I recommend regular date nights as a great way to re-fuel.

 

What about insurance?  To own a car and not insure it against theft or damage is in my opinion asking for some major heart ache and financial hardship should something go wrong.  Your insurance provides you with peace of mind every time you get in your car or leave it unattended.  Like wise planning a special Romantic Occasion with love, thought and care acts as an insurance policy to protect your relationship from damage or theft!  My husband and I head away for a night or two four times a year.  This costs no more than the insurance, warrants and mechanics bills for two cars.  As a good relationship is far harder to replace than a car I believe this is an investment we should all be making.

 

So next time you hop in your car take a moment to think about your special someone.  Ask yourself, is it time for an insurance renewal, re-fuel or some protection from the elements?

Romantic Ideas

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

I know it can be difficult to keep the creativity flowing when planning your Romantic Gestures.  Flowers are wonderful, girls love them and I think you guys don’t mind them occasionally either :-) .  However – while the saying is you can’t have too much of a good thing I think you can have too much of the same thing.  So varying it up is important.

 

While I am going to share a few romantic ideas with you I also want to encourage you to set aside some time and let your own imagination run free.  After all you know your partner better than anyone else.  Part of loving someone is learning about them so during the time you have been together you will have learnt his or her favourite colour, food, drink, music etc etc.  Let all of that information be your inspiration!

 

Romantic Ideas

1/ Let’s say your partner’s favourite colour is purple, buy some purple post it notes take five pieces and in the top left hand corner of the first write number one of five, in the second number 2 of 5 and so on. Then write five things you love about him/her (one comment for each page).  Put these notes around the house in areas where you know they will be found.  Sit back and wait for the reaction…

 

2/ What is his or hers favourite food?  Buy a cook book that is full of the type of cuisine your partner loves.  Wrap it up and after he/she has opened it give a card with something along the lines of these words inside…I have bought this cookbook for me so I can make you the type of food you love.  Please choose a recipe, I’m cooking tonight.  This is a great gift to give first thing in the morning before your partner goes to work it creates a fantastic mood for the day.

 

3/ If you are living together and you enjoy a glass of wine from time to time chances are you purchase it from the supermarket with your groceries.  Occasionally stop in at a specialist wine store and arrive home with a bottle you have selected with the assistance of a wine expert.  This gesture is often reminiscent of what you did in the early days and they are always good memories to revisit from time to time.

 

Once you get in the habit of thinking about your relationship, planning special time together and surprised for one another the results will speak for themselves.

What is a Romantic Gesture?

Saturday, June 13th, 2009

 In a healthy relationship we are always doing kind and thoughtful gestures for our partner or spouse.  It may be making them a cup of tea in the morning, leaving the heater on in the bathroom, running an errand or picking up the dry cleaning.  The list is endless and I encourage you to take some time to think of the kind and thoughtful gestures your special someone does for you, as they are often overlooked and go un-thanked.  By taking some time to notice the things they do you can easily rectify this with a thank you, a hug or some other acknowledgement.

 

So what is the difference between these gestures and a Romantic Gesture?

 

I find asking these three questions define if what I am planning falls into the Romantic Gesture category.

 

Have I had to set aside some time to plan this?

Does it involve my husband and I spending time together or him spending time doing something he loves with my full encouragement.

Is the event, occasion or surprise I am planning about what he likes rather than what I like to do?

If I can answer yes to these three questions I know I am on the right track.

 

For example:  Last year we went to Wellington for a holiday.  I organised for us to go and watch the Phoenix play soccer (I would have rather watched paint dry).  This took some planning on my behalf, involved us spending time together and was certainly something I new he would enjoy.  All boxes ticked!

 

Conversely I love having my feet massaged and I think it would be lovely for us to have a Chinese foot spa together.  However my husband has incredibly ticklish feet so this would be a slow form of torture for him and not work as a Romantic Gesture (it would be amusing though).

 

In summary:

 

A Romantic Gesture will take some planning.  Consider what you want to do for him/her.  Take some time over this, I don’t mean days or even hours just enough time to focus on what you know they like and how you can plan something special around that.  Ensure that your plan involves things he/she loves to do or receive.  I can’t stress this enough.  Guys if you are planning a special dinner out and you choose a spot where you can watch the rugby too, I guarantee you will spoil the moment (unless she is a big rugby fan).  Equally girls if you whisk your man away for a romantic weekend and the final of his favourite sporting event is on he will not thank you for it!   

 

Once you have decided on the gesture you need to set a date and organise whatever is required for your plan to work.  If you are planning to surprise her with flowers or a midweek lunch at your favourite restaurant you may not have too much to organise but if it’s a weekend away there may be a bit more to consider like childcare, time off work, special food (make a list and don’t be afraid to ask for some help if needed). 

 

Lastly put your plan into action and if you have organised a trip away or a surprise night out give some thought to how you present your gift of time.  Maybe write a poem, send her txt clues throughout the day or make up a voucher that says what you are going to be doing and when you are going to be doing it.

 

Enjoy and remember the gesture does not always have to be large or expensive.  It is all about giving your time and using a little imagination.