If you could change one thing in your relationship what would it be?

Two days ago I posted this question on our Facebook page and received a huge response not only in terms of an organic reach but also in the amount of replies and the varied responses received.  We all have one thing that we are unhappy with in our relationship.  It's what makes us human.

There are things that annoy us and things that grate on our nerves.  Some things we learn to let go of, they are not as significant as others.  The big things in relationships that cannot be let go of are any issues that concern trust.  You will need to work on those on a daily basis.

In all, relationships have many areas that need constant input from both parties.  To think that you can glide along without doing anything is naïve.  You both need to work at it to keep it alive.  Much like that of a baby or a pet.

I sat down after posting this question and gave it some thought.  MY one thing that I would change would be for Russell to pick up what he leaves behind when entering and exiting a room.  Every room he enters he always leaves something behind, usually on the floor, when exiting it.

Sometimes it's washing on the couch, sometimes it's metal items on the shower floor and sometimes it's shoes sticking out from the under the bed for me to trip up on.  One of my traits is to scan.  I can scan a room and know right away what's missing and what's out of place.

Russell's one thing he would change is for us to both do more exercise together.  Something that he loves to do and me not so much but as always this is one area that I am prepared to compromise on.

Here are a few of the responses we received to this question on Facebook:

  • Actually having one would be nice
  • That he seems to always have time for everybody else but never for "us" if that makes sense
  • To get into one would be a start
  • I would like to be able to be better at keeping our home clean and tidy, my husband is amazing with everything he does and I feel I am letting my side down horribly, also I would like to be able to go out for a meal occasionally
  • Our living arrangements
  • Spending more 'Date Nights' together

While we can't address the issue right away of not having a partner we can address the other issues instead.  The common theme here is not having enough quality time together. 

Quality time does not necessarily mean having a Date Night away from the house and away from any distractions.  Quality time means that the time spent together is of a higher quality to that of just spending time together on a daily basis.

It is the conversation you have with each other and the topics of conversation that are important.  Don't discuss anything to do with children, work, bills, family or any other topic that could lead to an argument.  All of those topics are off the table.  Instead focus on only the two of you.

Think about what you are wanting in the relationship.  Think about all the little things that you are wanting to change.  Pick one or two of those and work as hard as you can with what you have to make the necessary changes.

If having a conversation without causing an argument is an issue for you then grab a packet of our conversation starter cards and see the change in how you speak to each other.  Using these cards ensures that you are not left discussing the same old topics that come up every time you see each other.

Feel free to tell us below what one thing you would change in your relationship if you could and if you would like some tips and suggestions for making those changes feel free to get in touch with our team directly.


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