In New Zealand, 42% of marriages end in divorce. Is this statistic correct? That means that almost half of all marriages end in divorce. Surely that can't be right. I decided to investigate this alarming statistic to find out if this really was the case. Scrolling through my Facebook news feed on a rather blustery day in January I came upon a post that caught my eye. "This company will pay for your wedding for FREE, but......", intrigued by this offer I clicked through to find out what the catch was. Companies do not go around paying for weddings for nothing in return, or do they?
Interestingly enough, a new start up company in America called 'Swanluv' was offering to pay up to $10,000 towards your wedding and yes there was a catch. Should you get divorced, you would have needed to pay it all back plus interest. What a wonderful incentive to stay married. Divorce should be the last thing on a couples mind when they are standing at the alter professing their love for one another. To end the article, the writer outlines the divorce rate statistics for both here in NZ and the US and I find it surprising, so I wanted to look into this further to see if that were the case. [Since writing this post, Swanluv have had to change the way they offer their services after an overwhelming response from couples wanting money for their weddings. Their website has now been shutdown]
According to the writer, in NZ, 42% of marriages end in divorce as opposed to 53% in the US. So in effect that means almost one half of all marriages end in divorce. Is this true and if so why? Off I went in search of the answers and found myself reading the statistics gained from statistics.govt.nz. In short, the divorce rate in NZ has quadrupled since the 60's and currently sits at around 12.6% (1999). Up until 1999, on average, the length of a marriage lasted between 5-9 years where 25.1% of marriages ended in divorce. These figures suggest that 'almost two out of every five marriages dissolved in 1999 had lasted for less than 10 years'.
Is there truth to the old wives tale of the seven year itch or is there something else responsible for these dissolution's? Marriage is a lifelong commitment to one another and should not be entered into lightly. Purposeful planning and guidance from appropriate authorities should be sought to determine if you are suitably matched. Attending a marriage course run by a qualified administrator can provide the answers to questions that you may not have thought of. Finding these out before you get married will save you pain and heartache later.
How do I know if I am with the right partner? Love is a decision (to work on it) every day, it takes time and energy to sustain it. The key to succeeding in a marriage/relationship is not finding the right person, it's learning to love the person you're with.