In todays busy world we often spell L O V E with 4 very different letters, T I M E. With time being limited, when couples make time to celebrate their connection and expectations can and should be high.
Time is something that Russell and I have had in short supply since he began his studies 6 years ago. Having chosen to complete a Bachelor of Business (Marketing) on a part time basis all the while working full time for the NZDF, we knew that our quality time together would be limited.
Now that Russell has completed his final paper, time is something we have more of but it wasn’t always that way. So how did we keep our connection alive?
For Russell, studying meant spending 3 hours every night and all day Saturdays and Sundays in his office. Spending quality time together was important and we kept our routine throughout.
We enjoy going for an early morning walk on weekdays before Russell heads off to work. Before he leaves we make the bed together, something which gives us time to talk to each other. This sets the tone for our day.
I have held various part time positions (outside the business) over the years so if I am there when Russell gets home from work, we sit down and debrief each other. Doing this gives us the opportunity to share the events of our day, good and bad.
Being able to offload to each other lowers our stress levels and gives us the opportunity to know how the other is feeling and what we might be going through. We get the opportunity to talk through our thoughts and feelings so we can move on and look forward to the next day.
Having finished studying, we now spend time talking, watching something on the iPad or being intimate together.
We schedule getaways at least three times each year and when time allowed between papers, we went out for a few hours doing things we love to do.
We know how important it is to stay connected to each other especially when life gets busy. There will always be distractions in life, whether it is raising children, pursuing a career, participating in extra curricular activities, chores, running a business or just daily life.
By making time for each other we are showing our Love and commitment by communicating in a way that respects and values our relationship. This will ensure that our relationship remains strong throughout our lifetime regardless of life’s distractions.
Although we are now empty nesters, our routine has remained the same throughout our relationship. Knowing how to communicate when the children aren’t around lays the foundation for how to communicate after they have left home.
Even with children around, there are plenty of ways you can keep your connection alive. Here are a few suggestions:
- Get up together an hour before the children wake
- Meet up for lunch regularly without children (if this isn’t an option then call or text each other during lunch breaks)
- Leave notes for each other in lunchboxes, cars, briefcases, pockets, around the house
- Do chores together
- Daily debrief
- Swap childcare with another family so each couple can have some one on one time
- Play a game together when the children go to bed – there are many card/board games that focus on effective communication
- If in a long-distance relationship, sending emails and photos is a great way to stay connected
- Give each other fun challenges to complete
With only 24 hours in each day, it is vital to make sure you have time for love. Find a method that works for you both and make it part of your routine. Distractions come and go however your relationship is for life.
If you would like me to elaborate further on anything I have mentioned here please do not hesitate to contact me. I love hearing from you. Take care.